I feel burned out. Before this, I would find reasons to study hard because I would tell myself that I'm doing this for us. Even when things weren't working my way, I would suck it all up because I know I have her.
I'm so unclear of who I am. I hate it that I keep doing things for others. In the end, I couldn't even define myself and I don't know where to start to make amends.
This summer has been an evident of my identity crisis. It has been a while since I felt exhausted from studying. My exam just ended yesterday. The last thing I could think of before taking the test was her.
What if you gave your life to her? What if you told yourself that nothing matters more? What if you don't find any pleasures in life anymore and you're always living in the past, does that constitute as being worth living for? I rather travel back in time and go through everything with her again even when I know that it'll end some day soon.
I can't let go of her and I can't let go of who I was. I don't want stop loving her. It's has been fueling my passions for so long that without it I'm nothing but a bucket of bolts.
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