I really dislike reserving my feelings. But, sometimes it is all for the better. I once tried voicing my interest in her and it created a havoc. Things seems better now, but somehow I feel frustrated that we can't advance onto a closer level.
I'm losing my mind over this. I know I'm being greedy, but I can't help but feel that I'm giving others the opportunity to win her heart. Given our history, I really can't ask for more. I want her so badly, but at the same time, I don't want her to get too close to me.
If we're meant to be together, things shouldn't be this hard. Maybe I'm missing something here or maybe everything is just an illusion.
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